Choosing to seek His approval only…

Babyscan 12 weeks

I write this blog to share what God has put on my heart. Forgive me, as it’s a longer offering than usual.

I don’t want to die a horrible death. I don’t know anyone who does. But I know that I will die and I know where I will spend eternity, so that doesn’t worry me. Why then am I so keen to hang on to my popularity, afraid of dying socially, and at the expense of standing up for and telling the truth? Especially since Jesus said “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

I was recently at a meal with some of my family and our conversation quickly turned to God and the state of our country’s current decisions on Life, the family and marriage. We’re all a rather  passionate and verbose bunch, and conversations over dinner are often far-ranging and quite loud. Whilst the discussion continued, I was completely convicted by the Holy Spirit  about my unwillingness to publicly stand up and voice clearly some of the truths that God’s word has rooted in my heart.

I say convicted and not condemned because I know that when God looks at me, he credits my account with the works and obedience of Jesus and not my messy mistakes and sin.
But a true conviction of the Holy Spirit, where he gently but firmly nudged into my view, the truth that my reluctance to speak out, hinges on my caring more for the approval and respect of people than I care for his. Ouch.

2 Timothy 1:7 says:
‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and Of love and of sound mind.’

So either God’s word is wrong, or my thoughts are wrong- and given that it’s never God who gets it wrong, I need to make some changes.

I have come to the conclusion that if God is who he says he is and he speaks the truth-

‘ God is not a man, that he should lie, or son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfil it?’ Numbers 23:19 esv

– and if he doesn’t change…

‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.’ Hebrews 13:8 niv

… and if I profess to follow him, that he is Lord of my life, then whether I like all of what he says or not, I need to line my thoughts up with his, and to commit to living them out.

That means not just praying for courage, but seizing the moment and being courageous when it is required, whether it makes me unpopular and hated or not.

Speaking the truth in love is not hammering out home truths for effect, or trampling on someone vulnerable just to get my point out, but compassionately challenging them with truth, mindful of where they are at, in order to bring them life.

So here I go, trying to be brave, honest and loving, and if it means some form of death, then so be it.

I am passionately Pro-Life. I believe that life begins at conception, but know for a fact (courtesy Of developments in ultrasound technology) that you can hear a clear heartbeat from as early as six weeks, and that the foetus already looks like a tiny baby with visible eyes. I think that this is breathtaking!

I think that the safest place for anyone should be (and was designed to be) in a mother’s womb, but with evidence of the number of abortions being what they are every year (estimated 40-50million worldwide)*, it is currently the most dangerous place on earth.

I think that a great number of women have gone through huge trauma having undergone abortions, and my heart breaks with deep compassion and pain for you.

The fear, confusion, guilt and turmoil involved in making a decision like this is horrendous. I want people to feel that they truly have time to contemplate the magnitude of what they’re doing, and to see that there are other, better options available.

I don’t want women to feel so alone and rushed in that process, but to know that there are people who offer help and support who, unlike most clinics, don’t get given money for every abortion they undertake.

I want us to realise that if pro-choice truly allowed for real choice, money wouldn’t be involved to cloud judgment whilst clinics try to fill their quotas.
It would recognise that the child has no choice, and isn’t even allowed to have someone speak on his or her behalf. Surely we are to protect the vulnerable and speak up for those who are unable to speak up for themselves?

And I want us to realise that despite the most unintended slip-ups or massive violations that occurred to result in this little life, it wasn’t the child’s fault. But he or she has a wonderful, individual gift and purpose to bring to this world, and would bring more blessing and joy than can be imagined, turning the circumstances round for good.

This situation frequently breaks my heart and reduces me to tears. I would honestly prefer to mother your unwanted son or daughter, whatever it cost me, than see them aborted.

I am not speaking entirely removed from this topic. I have made some bad choices with taking the morning after pill (which is not simply contraceptive) in my messy past history, and may well have killed a baby or more than one, which is something I deeply regret.
I have also seen friends heartbroken and damaged after making the decision to abort, and I’d wish it on no one.

But I also know that nothing is too bad for God to forgive, and that if we choose to accept it, Jesus has already taken the punishment, which ensures justice, in our place, and won freedom and reconcilliation for us.

I can stand head held high, secure in the knowledge that I am COMPLETELY forgiven- past, present and future- and I have been given a fresh start with God’s strength to do it right this time. I am not condemned for my bad decisions, because of God’s great mercy.

If I have touched a nerve and hurt you I am sorry, I do not condemn anyone. I was a dirty, rotten, depraved sinner before Jesus turned my life around, so I cannot point the finger.

But if God is who he says he is, and we are clearly told ‘you shall not murder’ (Deuteronomy. 5:17), surely we need to recognise the gravity of this situation.

I beg you to let God touch your heart with the wonder of new life and encourage you to speak out for these precious, unwanted children.

*Statistics taken from World Health Organisation (WHO)